January 9th, 2012 by Barbara McKay
Memory Monday – Best Ever Dorm Raid
"Lights Out" - time for the raids.
Through the years, all students who attended St. John’s would have participated in the “dorm raid”. Some of the more imaginative boys would plan for days so that the raid went off without a hitch.
Some raids were more successful then others. Submit your story of your “best ever dorm raid”.
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Near the end of the school year we had an unseasonably warm night. Every window was open and not a breath of fresh air moved in or out of the dorm. Everyone was restless and sleep did not come easily. Thunder could be heard in the distance. Blanket lightening lit the sky. Everyone waited in anticipation for the cooling rain. Around midnight the heavens opened up and drenched the parched land. An uncontrolled urge swept through the dorm as we piled through the exit door. We slid through the mud and danced like crazed wild men. The lightening flashes came close together and created a strobe effect. As I danced and slid in the mud I noticed a face in the window of headmaster’s house. I can only imagine what that individual must have thought witnessing this scene of utter joy and pandemonium. A short while later we were brought back to reality by Ted Byfield and his infamous chant of, Boys o Boys o Boys, this is a shhhhhower of shhhhhit. He had a way of saying this that has been indelibly etched in my memory. Even though he said the words in a threatening tone we could tell by the smile on his face that he probably wished he could have been out there with us. We went through the showers, dried off and got back into bed having learned the meaning of living in the moment.
Dorm raids could be a lot of fun unless you were caught, even then it was worth the 3-5 swats. Planned dorm raids were always met with great expectations, especially when surprise was on the attackers, one dorm raid that had every waiting for the big moment, all were ready ,anticipating the thundering footsteps, pillow ready with extra stuffing, the rumour mill started at evening compline,lights go out with the usual no more talking!!!!time slowly goes by , the tension builds, we all knew that some were in the dining room studying ( sure sign of a dorm raid ), noises — wispers–footsteps–a lite goes on for a brief moment–the big raid is going to happen soon , …. but it never does happen.
When I was in grade 11, there were only 4 grade twelves so they put all of us in the senior wing. That made for about 16 of us.
We planned a spur of the moment dorm raid.
Don’t remember why. And nobody thought it was a dumb idea.
Anyway, it was going well – as well as dorm raids could go, until someone rallied the troops and they were coming at US!!! I remember just as someone slid a hockey stick into the fire doors to stop them, one guy slid through. He probably went a little sick when he realized all of his support was caught and he was alone in the jaws of the dragon.
I don’t know who he was, but I have often hoped that he has a nice family with lots of kids these days cuz Ed and I each had one side of his gonch and lifted him off the ground over and over by these convenient handles until his fruit of the looms gave way and he fell out the bottom! He hit the floor and scrambled down towards the dining room so fast I never saw his face….
“Looks like we showed him!” Ed beamed in that matter-of-fact way he did, as we went to bed with the sound of thunder on the opposite of those fire doors.
Where was the master on duty? Raiding the cooler?
Twas the night before Easter
And all through the dorm
Not a creature was sleeping
(Truth told, t’was the norm)
Suddenly without warning
A whistle then thud
Size nine sneaker was hurled
The victim was Bud
An indignant epihitet
Let fly in the night
Was muzzled by glimpsing a
Most bone chilling sight
With the flick of a light switch
Far end of the hall
Silhouetted dark spectre
At least six feet tall
“Fess-up now!” he commanded
A grey pall of dread
Dampened high spirits of boys
Now trembling in bed
Guilty culprit stayed tight-lipped
Someone must confess
Or we all get the “stretcher”
A form of duress
The first ones to be punished
From cubicle “A”
Padded jammies with towels
The swats to defray
Such an inspired example
Gave others a prod
By the time it was our turn
We’d strapped on a wad
Woebegone in his cassock
Fury unsurpassed
Man of prayer scarcely noticed
The first was now last
Giggling boys kept on coming
Interminable loop
The arm wielding the stretcher
Now started to droop
At last lights were extinguished
What started with fright
Became legend merriment
To all a good night!