Honey Sales Practice
Throughout the years, there have been some great (unusual) stories that have come from students who have been out selling honey (or in Manitoba, meat and sausages). They often involved all the excuses for not purchasing the product, or perhaps the dog who greeted the salesman as he approached the door.
Some of the funnier ones involved alumni who answered the door and provided great stories for the young man who just wanted to sell a jar and be on his way.
Tell us your best honey (meat) selling story. Click on the title and scroll to the bottom of the page to submit your memories. Or, click on the photo to see a larger version)
February 20, 2012 at 9:40 am
Sssttuttterrifficc!!!
Somewhere in Winterpeg – 1969
A boy wearing a black and yellow jacket and matching floppy tuque and tassel staggers up the icy stairs with a meat basket loaded with frozen mogue.
He rings the bell.
A lady in her housecoat cracks open the door, obviously miffed by the juvenile intruder on her porch.
He starts his well practiced speil.
“Heh heh low oo maam. I I I m ff rr omm St st j j John’s CaCaCa thee dddral bbboooyyys’ skkkool. ”
Her toes are turning blue. She is feeling conflicted.
The hapless boy on her doorstep is driving her crazy.
Yet her maternal instinct aided by the one for self preservation, reaches out to the stuttering lad.
She hands him five bucks for a package of sausages.
The boy fumbles with his mittens for the change.
“Keep it”, she says as her fingers freeze to the door.
“Thank you very much ma’am !” rings out the cheerful and suspiciously clear reply as the boy skips down the porch stairs, leaving the matron to ponder her lumpy package as she closes her front door and shuffles back to the freezer.
February 20, 2012 at 10:27 am
Winterpeg 1969
South Tuxedo
Clive and I were tag-teaming the cool customers of Tuxedo on the winter St. Johns meat selling drive.
The short daylight hours were waning.
We were hypothermic and not a little punchy.
We had just waxed eloquent of the virtues of our packaged pork products.
We had raised the swine ourselves.
We had slaved over the sausages and smoked the hams and stored them in a great wooden vat with brine.
“Sorry, I’m Jewish!” was all she said.
Crestfallen, I turned to leave.
Superbly unperturbed, Clive, with his leather mittens, rummaged to the bottom of his basket of meat.
He found a ten pound ham, gleaming pink and tinged with green.
Clive hoisted it high while flashing his most disarming grin.
“No problem ma’am, how ’bout this delightful cabbage!”
February 20, 2012 at 10:49 am
This one actually made the newspaper: A SJCBS boy was selling meat door to door in Winnipeg. At one house, he tried to sell the lady some chicken. The woman said, “I’m very sorry, but I’m Jewish, and I doubt if your chickens are Kosher.” The boy hardly hesitated at all. He responded, “No, Ma’am, but our ham definitely is.”
February 20, 2012 at 4:37 pm
One day I was going around a crescent in Calgary selling honey. Two Jehovah’s Witness ladies were going around the other way. We met in the middle, exchanged pleasantries and continued. I went up to the house they had just left. The lady of the house opened the door, took one look at me, and exclaimed, “Thank God you’re not a Jehovah’s Witness! I’ll take two!”
February 23, 2012 at 10:14 pm
It was during one of the 1998 Calgary sales. I had always been a fan of Professional Wrestling. I remember walking up to a fairly large home, and thinking these folks must be rich. So I ding the doorbell, and a nice little old lady answered the door. I went into the whole schpiel thingy before I heard someone ask Who Is it Mom, and he came to the door. It was only then that I realized I was trying to sell honey to BRUCE HART and his mother HELEN HART. Totally wicked experience for me. They bought 4 jars too.
February 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm
It was a pleasant enough spring day in Calgary. We were selling in Brentwood. Sales were average. Mine much worse than that. Trunk of the parent’s car obstinently refusing to look lighter.
I grabbed two jars and headed up the walk.
An absolute Angel opened the door.
Well. Here it finally is. The dream of most honey sellers……she’s going to invite me inside, listen to my story, buy a case and maybe send me off with a smooch and a smile!
I perk right up! Start laying down my best pitche ever – cleverly using hand motions to elaborate on how amazing it is to raise bees (crap), get the honey away from them (more crap) and them bottle and sell it to fine people like her. Being my first time I’d ever had the golden opportunity to talk to a gorgeous gal, especially so unexpectedly, I didn’t realize that my palms were getting pretty sweaty….SMASH!
We both looked down to see the slowly growing puddel of honey spread out on her front step.
Feeling like an absolute idiot, I stooped down to grab the precious lid (which had to be submitted to prove a jar had actually been dropped and not merely given away). She reappeared in the doorway with a rag and garabage can and we cleaned it up.
I don’t think she saw my tail between my legs as I pretty much ran from the doorstep when it was all over…
“Ya, that went well” I thought as I headed for the car.
March 6, 2012 at 9:42 am
When I moved to Selkirk, initiallly I didn’t drive teams, but sold on the street like the kids. Was pretty good at it. Was usually third. Lad name Charuk was first. Second was up for grabs.
Anyway, I’d do almost anything to sell a chicken.
“Good morning ma’am. I’m from Saint John’s Cathadral Boys School. I’m on staff there, and like the boys I’m selling our Churkies, I mean Tickens. They’re really chickens, but they are so big, some people say we’re selling small turkeys. But they don’t taste like….
On and on. Don’t shut up until the close the door or reach for their wallet.
One woman said she loved our chickens, but her freezer was full.
“Will you buy every chicken I can fit in?”
“Sure. That would be great.”
I had just be filled by my driver. I had 8 birds with me. Two crates.
Took me 45 minutes, but I got all 8 into her freezer, and left her with a neat and orderly freezer to boot.
My driver was so ticked. I had vanished, for over an hour by the time he thought to double back to where he’d dropped me off. Rant Rant Rant
“Be quiet. I’m out of chickens and today I just might beat Charuk”
But I didn’t.
March 6, 2012 at 9:52 am
Simon Jeyes had the grade 12’s in Fort McMurray. It was a scramble sale. The 12’s were behind in the competition. (They were set against teams with 18-20 boys, and they had to win on straight dollars amounts. No sales per team member stuff.)
Lazaruk was the first out of the van, grabbed two jars, stuffed them in his pocket, grabbed two more.
“No Lazaruk. Take the whole box.”
Steve looked at him in astonishment.
“Just do it. I’ve got 12 of you, and it’s a strange town. It will be a while.”
Everyone took a full box.
Simon couldn’t keep up. They went up there with I think 8 boxes each. They sold out by noon on Saturday.
Another year Fraying and Nind made a deal with Max Ward of Ward air, took 75 cases into Ward Air’s terminal. Everytime a plane went north, if the weight allowance would take it, a case or 6 went north too.
Easter break was late that year, and the breakup early. The ice bridge across the McKenzie was already closed. No more road traffic until the ferries could run.
Nind’s dad was Someone. He called the local radio station and they had the boys in for one of the local talk shows. Frayling and Nind were both eloquent speakers and charmed the listeners. At the end, they talked about the honey program, and how listeners could help by coming and getting a jar or two.
Since grocery store prices skyrocket as soon as the ice bridge is closed, SJSA honey was a bargain. 75 cases were gone by late afternoon.
March 15, 2012 at 1:23 am
I remember going to one house and doing my best honey selling pitch to a nice lady. After I asked her how many jars she would like, she responded: “No thanks, son, my brother has hives”. To which I quickly responded: “Well, this is your lucky day! One tablespoon of St John’s honey will cure the hives in no time flat!” She laughed and bought 2 jars from me. 🙂